This year, we crossed a milestone as my husband and I sent
our first child to college. We spent
much of the past two years convincing him that college would be fun and one of
the best experiences of his life. For
much of that time, he didn’t believe us. Then, somewhere after his high school
graduation ceremony we started to see him change his mind. He didn’t discuss the change in his attitude
with us. We just saw it creep into his
demeanor. While we were glad he was
going willingly and was even excited, it was still hard.
For some reason, he had to move to college on a
weekday. Luckily, none of our other kids
had started school yet and my husband took off from school so we got to make it
a family event. A few weeks prior, my
college-bound son had made remarks to my husband about what he could or could
not fit in his car when he moved to school.
My husband looked him in the eye, put a hand on his shoulder and said,
“You know we’re helping you move, right?”
My son was pleasantly surprised.
On moving day, my son packed his own car. He almost got it all in his own car, which
seemed to be a point of pride with him.
To me, it was as if he was proving he didn’t really need us. However, we had the mini-fridge in the
mini-van. Hah, son! Can’t go to college without that!
We made the 2-hour drive, found the dorm and started
unpacking. Somehow in raising my kids, I
have convinced my kids I’m an idiot. In
many ways this is good. They’ve never
asked me to type papers, edit research projects or help with math past Algebra
1. However, in some ways, it’s bad
because they’re convinced if they don’t know something, then obviously I don’t
know either. Several times prior to
moving day I had asked my son if he knew anything about the check-in process
once he got to the dorm. “Mom,” he said,
“there’s no check-in process. I know my room number. I just move in.” WHAT??
They have a few hundred students living in this dorm and you don’t need
to check-in, get a room-key, sign-in, nothing?
Again, my kids think I’m an idiot.
We began unpacking in the parking lot and took armloads of boxes and
totes into the dorm, where, lo and behold, there was a check-in desk. I laughed silently to myself. Hopefully, in college he’ll realize that I’m
not idiot after all.
Moving his belongings went off without a hitch. We stayed out of the way and out of the room
because once my son, his roommate and all their belongings were unloaded, it
was pretty crowded.
After lunch, we walked around campus and took care of
business such as getting a parking permit, picking up his books, getting him
cash from the ATMs, and such. How did I
raise a kid to be 19 and not know how to use an ATM? Oh yeah, he has no money. I have to give him credit because only when
he had a problem did he ask for our help.
I was surprised because, again, he thinks I’m an idiot.
Once we were done, it was time to go. Time to leave my baby. As much as I’d worked to convince him to go
to college, I couldn’t fathom him not living in my house. Not saying good night when he came home from
being out. Not playing guitar or drums
so loud I couldn’t hear myself think. Just
not being present. I can barely remember
my life before he was born.
I reached and gave him a hug. At that point, I couldn’t hold back the
tears, but I tried to limit the number.
I didn’t want to cry but tearing up seemed okay. I saw no tears in my son’s eyes, but he held
our hug a little longer and harder than usual.
It was amazingly similar to when I dropped him off on his first day of
kindergarten. And, that turned out
okay.
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